Staying connected when you cannot drive
Ways to get around, ask for rides and keep in touch on your own terms
Maybe a broken leg means you cannot work the pedals for months. Maybe your care team told you not to drive while a brain injury heals, or the car was totaled and money is tight. Some people are simply not ready to get behind the wheel again, and that is a real reason too.
Whatever the cause, trips you used to make without thinking now take planning. Coffee with a friend or a quick run for milk turns into a favor you have to ask. When each outing needs a ride, it gets easy to stop going at all.
The sections below cover asking for rides with less guilt and the ride programs you may qualify for, including options for small towns and tight budgets. The last part is about staying close to people without a car, at a pace you choose.
Why not driving can feel so lonely
For many people, the car means freedom and the chance to say yes to plans at the last minute. Some were the one who gave everyone else rides. Losing that can bring grief, anger, boredom or embarrassment, and those feelings make sense.
A 2016 review gathered 16 studies of drivers aged 55 and older [1]. Giving up driving was linked with declines in general health and in social function, and with a higher chance of moving into long term care [1]. Five of the studies looked at mood. Together they found that people who stopped driving had nearly twice the odds of depressive symptoms [1]. One study in the review followed people for 13 years. In that study, stopping driving was linked with a drop of about half in the size of people’s networks of friends and relatives [5].
Those studies looked at older adults who stopped driving for many reasons, not at people hurt in crashes. Research on traumatic brain injury (TBI), an injury from a blow or jolt that disrupts how the brain works, points the same way. In a study of 51 adults living with TBI, those who had not gone back to driving took part less in community life [2]. A larger study of 261 people with TBI found the same pattern, even after taking injury severity and social support into account [6].
These findings are associations. They do not prove that losing the car causes low mood. Many people adjust well over time. They do show that loneliness is a real risk worth planning for, and that feeling it does not make you weak.
The larger study had one more finding. Many people who did not drive used other ways to get around, yet that was not tied to more community involvement [6]. So a ride is a start. You may also need plans and people who want to see you.
When loneliness turns into hopelessness
Loneliness and low mood can build slowly. If you have thoughts of suicide or feel you cannot go on, reach out now. Help works, and you deserve support.
- Call or text 988, or chat through 988lifeline.org, to talk with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It costs nothing and answers around the clock [7].
- Veterans and military service members, along with people who support them, can choose option 1 after dialing 988, or text 838255 [8].
- When a life is in danger at this very moment, dial 911.
Asking for rides without feeling like a burden
Asking for help can feel harder than the injury itself. You may worry that each request uses up goodwill. Friends are often glad to help but unsure what you need. A clear request gives them an easy way to say yes.
Build a ride team
Spread your requests across several people so no one person carries it all. A ride team might include family, neighbors, coworkers, people from your place of worship, or other parents from your child’s school. Keep a short list with each person’s name, number and the times they are usually free.
Some families like a shared calendar or group text where helpers can claim trips. Others prefer one person who coordinates. Pick the setup that feels least stressful for you.
Make the request easy to say yes to
Give the day, the time, the address and about how long you will need. Mention whether you need help getting in and out of the car, or room for a wheelchair, walker or cane. Bundle errands into one trip when you can. Offer gas money, a meal, or a trade, such as a task you can do from home for them.
Be a passenger who helps the driver focus
Agree on a pickup spot ahead of time, ideally one where the driver can pull over legally and safely. Be ready at the door so the driver is not waiting at the curb. If your plans change, send word before the driver sets out, and save phone calls with the driver for when the car is parked.
Riding in a car can bring back fear after a crash. If it does, tell the driver before you set off and save longer talks for after you arrive. The driver’s job is the road, so use your own calming steps, like slow breathing, during the ride.
Ride options and who can use them
The National Aging and Disability Transportation Center (NADTC) is a program of the Federal Transit Administration, run by Easterseals and USAging [9]. It lists public buses and trains, dial a ride services, volunteer driver programs, taxis and shared rides among the choices for older adults and people with disabilities [9]. Some areas also offer one call centers and travel training, which helps people learn local routes [9].
What exists depends on where you live. To find local options, call 1-800-677-1116 to reach the Eldercare Locator, or search its website by ZIP code [10]. It can point you to your local Area Agency on Aging. It connects older adults and their caregivers with local services [10, 11].
You can also try dialing 211. More than 200 local 211 agencies across the United States connect callers with community services [12]. Most people who reach out want help with basic needs such as housing, food, transportation and health care [12]. Services and coverage differ from place to place.
A social worker can help too. The American Geriatrics Society’s Health in Aging Foundation notes that social workers can help find and coordinate rides and community services [11]. If you are still in the hospital or a rehab program, ask to meet with the social worker or case manager before you go home.
Comparison compiled by Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Ride options at a glance
| Option | Who it is for | What to know |
|---|---|---|
| ADA paratransit | People whose disability keeps them from using local buses or trains | You must apply; fare is up to twice the bus fare |
| Medicaid rides | Medicaid members with no other reasonable way to reach covered care | Medical trips only; book ahead; rules vary by state |
| Area Agency on Aging | Older adults and their caregivers | Find yours through the Eldercare Locator |
| Volunteer driver programs | Often older adults and people with disabilities | Low cost; especially important in rural areas |
Sources: NADTC [3, 13]; CMS [4]; Eldercare Locator [10]; Health in Aging Foundation [11].
ADA paratransit: how it works
Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), people who qualify have a civil right to a ride service called complementary paratransit [3]. It runs alongside regular bus and train routes for people who cannot use those routes because of a disability [3].
Who qualifies
The rules describe three groups of riders [14]:
- People who cannot find their way around the transit system without help because of a disability.
- People who need a vehicle with a lift or ramp, when the route does not have one at that time.
- People whose disability keeps them from getting to or from the stop.
You can qualify based on a permanent or a temporary disability [3]. Some riders qualify only for certain trips, the ones where their disability keeps them from using the regular service [3]. Most agencies ask you to fill out an application [3]. If the agency has not decided within 21 days after you turn in a complete application, it must treat you as eligible until it makes a decision [14].
What the service must offer
- Pickups and drop offs inside a corridor that reaches 3/4 mile out from each bus route or train station [3].
- Service whenever the regular buses and trains run, on the same days and hours [14].
- Next day service: a ride you request the day before, with a pickup time no more than an hour before or after the time you asked for [3]. Ask when the reservation line is open.
- A fare no higher than twice the regular bus or train fare [3].
- No limits or priorities based on why you are going [14].
Because of that last rule, a ride to see a friend or attend a class counts as much as a ride to the doctor [14].
Bringing someone along
A personal care attendant, someone who helps you during the trip, rides without paying a fare [3, 14]. At least one other person, such as a family member or friend, must also be allowed to ride with you [14].
Medicaid rides to medical care
If you have Medicaid, ask about non emergency medical transportation, often called NEMT. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) describes it as a benefit for people who need help getting to and from medical visits [15]. It covers rides for eligible members to the doctor’s office or to other Medicaid approved care [4].
A CMS fact sheet lists several situations where Medicaid may cover a ride. They include having no driver’s license or no car that runs [4]. They also include having a physical or mental disability, or needing someone with you to travel or to wait for a ride [4]. You need to have no other reasonable way to get to the appointment [4].
The ride itself might be a taxi, car, van, public bus or subway [4]. You usually need to set it up ahead of time [4]. Who you call depends on your state and plan. It might be your caseworker, a ride company or some other agency. The customer service line of a Medicaid managed care plan can tell you about ride benefits [4].
A few tips can make this easier:
- Book as soon as you schedule the appointment, and write down the confirmation details.
- Ask what to do if the ride is late, and how to arrange the trip home.
- If your counseling or therapy visits are covered by Medicaid, ask whether rides to those visits are covered too.
Medicaid rules differ from state to state. They can change. Check with your state Medicaid agency or your health plan for the rules that apply to you.
Small towns and tight budgets
In 2018, about 22 percent of all requests to the Eldercare Locator came from people looking for local transportation [16]. Among those requests, 75 percent were about rides to medical and dialysis visits [16].
If you live in a rural area
Rural areas often have fewer choices than cities [16]. Where a town has no regular bus routes, public transit may be a dial a ride service that you book ahead. These services follow their own federal rules, separate from the paratransit rules above [14]. Ask your local provider how booking, fares and accessible vehicles work.
For many years, volunteer drivers have offered a low cost way to get around. NADTC highlights their importance in rural communities [13]. Since rides depend on volunteers being free, ask how far ahead to book.
When money is tight
For people who use a cane, walker or wheelchair, finding rides that meet their needs and fit their budget can be hard [16]. A few steps can stretch your money:
- Use paratransit if you qualify, since its fare is capped at twice the regular fare [3].
- Use Medicaid rides for medical care if you are eligible [4].
- Ask your transit agency whether it offers reduced fares for older adults or people with disabilities.
- Ask a social worker or your Area Agency on Aging about local programs [11, 10].
- Plan several errands for one trip, and share rides with neighbors who go the same way.
Staying connected on your own terms
Rides are only one way to stay close to people. You might invite a friend over for coffee, have a standing weekly phone call, or join a group chat with old coworkers. Video calls let you see faces, watch a grandchild’s recital, or attend a meeting of a club you belong to.
Keep the roles that matter to you
For older adults, driving is closely tied to feeling independent and satisfied with life [17]. You can protect some of that by keeping roles you value. Maybe you still help a child with homework over video, cook for the friend who drives you, or call a neighbor who lives alone. Being a helper as well as a person who gets help can make the give and take feel fairer.
Groups can help
Most research on support groups for people adjusting to life without driving involves older adults. One randomized trial tested a six week community group program for older adults [17]. People in the program made more trips outside the home. At three months they were more satisfied with their transport [17]. In another study of people with dementia, 74 percent of those in a driving support group said it helped them cope with not driving [17]. Ask your care team, a brain injury group or your Area Agency on Aging whether a similar group meets near you or online.
You set the pace
You decide how much contact feels right. After a crash, you may tire easily or be dealing with pain, poor sleep or brain injury symptoms. It is fine to plan short visits, choose quiet places, or leave early.
Arrange your ride home before you go, so you are not stuck when you get tired. Saying no to an invitation can be good self care. You can say yes to a different one later. Being alone and feeling lonely are different. If you notice you are pulling away from everyone, or nothing feels good anymore, tell someone you trust and talk with your care team.
Questions to ask a ride program
Question checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
- Who is eligible, and what do I need to apply?
- How far ahead do I need to book a ride, and how late can I cancel?
- What is the fare, and do you offer reduced fares for people with disabilities or low incomes?
- Can a family member, friend or personal care attendant ride with me?
- Will the driver help me from the door, or only at the curb?
- Do your vehicles fit my wheelchair, walker or scooter?
- What is the pickup window, and what should I do if my ride is late?
- Can I use the service for social trips, like visiting a friend or going to worship?
- If my application is turned down, how do I appeal?
Frequently asked questions
Can I use paratransit if my disability is temporary?
Yes. People can be eligible for ADA paratransit based on a permanent or a temporary disability [3]. Ask the agency how long your eligibility lasts and what you need to do to renew it.
Will Medicaid pay for rides to my doctor or therapy visits?
It may. Medicaid covers rides for eligible members to Medicaid approved care when they have no other reasonable way to get there [4]. You usually have to book ahead, and who you call depends on your state or plan [4].
Can I use paratransit when I visit family in another city?
Often, yes. Agencies must give eligible visitors service for 21 days or more within a year [14]. Call the agency in the city you plan to visit well before your trip to ask what they need from you.
What if I just do not feel like going out?
That is your choice. Some days call for rest. If you feel hopeless or start thinking about suicide, the 988 Lifeline takes calls and texts at 988 any time, day or night [7].
The bottom line
Recommendation from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Not being able to drive can make your world feel small. It is normal to grieve that. Research in older adults and in people with brain injury links not driving with lower mood and less time in the community, so loneliness deserves a plan [1, 6].
A ride team, clear requests, and programs like ADA paratransit and Medicaid rides can get you where you need to go [3, 4]. Phone calls, video chats and visits at home count as real connection too, and you get to decide how much is enough.
Sources and further reading
- 1Chihuri S, Mielenz TJ, DiMaggio CJ, et al. Driving cessation and health outcomes in older adults. J Am Geriatr Soc. 2016;64(2):332-341. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26780879
- 2Rapport LJ, Hanks RA, Coleman Bryer R. Barriers to driving and community integration after traumatic brain injury. J Head Trauma Rehabil. 2006;21(1):34-44. Summary at Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center. msktc.org/…/barriers-driving-and-commun…
- 3National Aging and Disability Transportation Center. ADA and paratransit. Updated November 2024. nadtc.org/…/ada-and-paratransit
- 4Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Let Medicaid give you a ride. Fact sheet. April 2016. cms.gov/…/nemt-factsheet.pdf
- 5Chihuri S, Mielenz TJ, DiMaggio CJ, et al. Driving cessation and health outcomes for older adults: a LongROAD study. AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety. July 2015. aaafoundation.org/…/driving-cessation-health-ou…
- 6Rapport LJ, Bryer RC, Hanks RA. Driving and community integration after traumatic brain injury. Arch Phys Med Rehabil. 2008;89(5):922-930. Abstract at AAHD. aahd.us/…/community-integration-resea…
- 7988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Home page. Accessed October 2026. 988lifeline.org
- 8Veterans Crisis Line, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Home page. Accessed October 2026. veteranscrisisline.net
- 9National Aging and Disability Transportation Center. Aging and disability transportation overview. Updated October 2024. nadtc.org/…/aging-and-disability-transp…
- 10Eldercare Locator, U.S. Administration for Community Living. Transportation. Accessed October 2026. eldercare.acl.gov/…/Transportation.aspx
- 11Health in Aging Foundation, American Geriatrics Society. Tip sheet: alternative transportation and other resources. Updated March 2019. healthinaging.org/…/tip-sheet-alternative-trans…
- 12211 (United Way Worldwide). About us. Accessed October 2026. 211.org/about-us
- 13National Aging and Disability Transportation Center. Volunteer transportation. Updated October 2024. nadtc.org/volunteer-transportation
- 14National Rural Transit Assistance Program, Federal Transit Administration. ADA complementary paratransit requirements. Updated January 2026. nationalrtap.org/…/ADA-Complementary-Paratrans…
- 15Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Non-emergency medical transportation. Updated August 2025. cms.gov/…/non-emergency-medical-trans…
- 16Eldercare Locator, U.S. Administration for Community Living. Transportation data report (2018 inquiry data). Eldercare.acl.gov/…/EL-Data-Report-Transportati…
- 17ARIIA Knowledge and Implementation Hub. Ceasing to drive: mental health and wellbeing. Updated July 2023. ariia.org.au/…/mental-health-%26-wellbeing…
This article reflects the safety priorities of emotional recovery after road crashes and road safety education. It offers general education, not medical, legal or benefits advice. Ride programs, Medicaid rules and fares differ by state and by local agency, so check with the official program before you rely on it. For questions about your health or your readiness to drive again, talk with your own care team. Reviewed October 2026.
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