Feeling afraid when someone else is driving
Why riding as a passenger can feel frightening after a crash and what can help
Imagine a 47 year old woman who was in the front passenger seat when another car ran a red light. Her injuries were mostly bruises. Months later, she still grips the door handle when her husband drives, gasps at brake lights, and finds reasons to skip family visits that mean a long ride.
If that picture feels familiar, you have plenty of company. One study followed more than 1,100 adults treated after road crashes in Oxford, England. A year later, passengers were more likely than drivers, cyclists, motorcyclists or people on foot to report travel anxiety [1].
This article looks at why riding can feel so hard, how reminders of the crash show up on the road, and how to talk with the person behind the wheel. It also covers trip planning, short coping skills, and how everyday coping differs from clinical treatment. Every suggestion here is meant to fit with safe driving, so none of them asks the driver to look away from the road.
Why riding can feel harder than driving
The Oxford researchers followed 1,148 adults aged 17 to 69 who came to a hospital emergency department after a road crash [1]. They checked in at 3 months and again at 1 year. About 1 in 5 people had travel anxiety at 3 months, and 17% still had it at 1 year [1, 2].
The pattern by type of road user stood out. At one year, 28% of passengers reported travel anxiety [1]. Next came motorcyclists at 20%, cyclists at 17% and pedestrians at 13%, with drivers lowest at 12% [1]. Women who had been passengers were affected most. About 34% of them met the study’s measure for a phobic fear of travel, twice the share of women who had been driving [1]. Among men, the figures were 16% for passengers and 7% for drivers [1].
An earlier study by the same Oxford group followed 188 crash survivors for a year [3]. A strong, phobic fear of travel, as a driver or a passenger, turned up more often than posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and often got in the way of daily life [3]. PTSD is a condition in which symptoms such as reliving the event and avoiding reminders last at least a month [4]. A related report from the group found that worry about travel was the usual pattern after a crash, whether people drove or rode along [5].
Passengers may also carry heavier trauma symptoms. In a group of 184 adults referred for therapy after a crash, passengers reported more trauma symptoms than drivers did [2].
Why might this be?
Researchers have not settled on one answer. A passenger cannot brake, steer or choose the speed, so watching the road may be the only thing left to do. That loss of control may be part of the picture, though the studies described here did not measure it.
A minor injury can still bring major fear
In the Oxford study, most injuries (61%) were physically minor [1]. Even so, outcomes a year later were much worse than the injuries alone would have suggested. Factors other than the injury did the most to predict how people fared [1].
How crash reminders show up during a ride
Fear during and after a frightening event is a natural response [4]. Reminders help explain why it can flare long after the crash itself. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) notes that thoughts, feelings, words, objects or situations that bring the event to mind can set off symptoms [4]. Those symptoms can include a pounding heart or sweating [4].
In a car, reminders can be all around you. Yours might include:
- The squeal of tires or the blast of a horn.
- Brake lights ahead, or a car pulling out from a side street.
- The road, intersection or time of day of the crash.
- A car of the same make or color.
- Rain, darkness or heavy traffic.
- Sitting in the same seat you were in that day.
Your body may react before your thinking catches up. You might press your foot into the floor, clutch the door handle, gasp or call out. Afterward, you may feel embarrassed or worn out. Reactions like these come from a body that is still on high alert after a real threat. They are no measure of your strength or character.
Avoidance can keep fear going
After a crash, many people start to steer around reminders. NIMH describes avoidance as one group of PTSD symptoms. It includes keeping away from places or things linked to the event and pushing away thoughts or feelings about it [4]. For a passenger, avoidance might mean turning down rides, riding only with one trusted person, or refusing highways.
Avoidance brings quick relief, so it makes sense. Over time, though, steering clear of reminders tends to make fear stronger, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) [6].
Research on drivers shows how far this can spread. In U.S. studies of crash survivors described by researchers Edward Blanchard and Edward Hickling, close to 95% of people with PTSD had noticeable to high anxiety in some driving situations [7]. They also avoided certain kinds of driving, such as at night, on highways or in bad weather [7].
Talking with the driver before you leave
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) counts anything that takes a driver’s attention off driving as distraction, and that includes talking with people in the car [8]. That makes the minutes before you leave the best time for a real conversation.
A short talk in the driveway can cover:
- What tends to scare you, in a sentence or two.
- What helps, such as a steady speed, extra space behind the car ahead, or a quiet radio.
- What does not help, such as jokes about your nerves.
- One signal that asks for a break at the next safe place.
- What you will do on your own if fear spikes, like closing your eyes or slow breathing.
Agree on one simple signal
Pick a short word or phrase, such as break, please or next exit. The driver says okay and stops only when it is safe and legal to do so, at a rest area, parking lot or exit. You both agree ahead of time that the signal asks for a stop at the next safe place, whenever that comes. Settling this in advance takes away the pressure to explain your feelings in heavy traffic.
Things a passenger should never do
Some reactions can put everyone at risk, even when they come from fear. Promise yourself, and tell the driver, that you will not:
- Grab the steering wheel, gear shift, parking brake or the driver’s arm.
- Ask the driver to look at you, a phone or a map while the car is moving.
- Ask for a sudden stop on a highway shoulder or in a travel lane.
- Keep up a running commentary on every car and hazard.
Pressing an imaginary brake pedal is fine, since it harms no one. If the driver truly is distracted, for example by a phone, NHTSA encourages passengers to speak up [8].
Planning trips around your needs
Small choices before a trip can make it feel more manageable. None of them removes all risk on the road. None replaces treatment if fear is severe. What they offer is more say in a situation where you have little control.
Route, timing and length
- Choose routes you know. At first, you may want to skip the crash site if it is a strong reminder.
- When you can, travel at times with lighter traffic and good daylight.
- Start with short, familiar trips and build up.
- For longer drives, plan stops ahead at rest areas or towns you can name.
- Leave early so no one has to rush.
Who drives and where you sit
- Ride with someone calm and rested who is willing to talk beforehand.
- Try both front and back seats on short trips. You may feel calmer where you can see the road, or you may prefer not to watch. There is no single right seat.
- If the crash happened while you sat in a certain seat, notice whether a different seat helps.
A before the ride checklist
Checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
- I told the driver, in a sentence or two, what scares me.
- We agreed on one signal and on the kinds of places we can stop.
- I know the route and about how long the trip will take.
- My seat belt is on and adjusted before the car moves.
- My music, podcast or calming audio is ready before we leave.
- Water and anything else I need is within reach, so I won’t lean across the driver.
- We left enough time that no one needs to hurry.
- I have a plan for after the trip, like a short walk or a few quiet minutes.
Coping skills for hard moments in the car
When fear rises in a moving car, you cannot step away. Short skills you can do quietly in your seat may help you get through the moment. In studies of treatment for crash related fear, relaxation skills were one part of a larger program built around gradual practice [9]. NIMH adds that relaxation exercises can be combined with exposure therapy [10].
Slow your breathing
Breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Breathe out through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat for a few minutes, and let your shoulders drop on each out breath.
Come back to the present
Name five things you can see inside the car, four you can touch and three you can hear. Press your feet flat on the floor and notice the seat behind your back. This can pull your attention to the here and now.
Carry a coping phrase
Before the ride, write a short phrase on your phone or a card. You might choose this is a memory, and today is a different day or the driver has the road, and my job is to breathe. Read it when you need it.
Give your eyes somewhere to rest
You might find it easier to look out the side window or at a book than at the traffic ahead. You might feel calmer watching the road. Try both and see.
After the ride
Notice what went well, even if the trip was hard. Write down which moments were toughest. That list can become a useful guide if you later work with a clinician on a step by step plan.
When fear lasts: exposure therapy and other treatment
Coping skills help you get through a ride. Treatment aims to shrink the fear itself, so that rides take less effort over time.
In the earlier Oxford study, anxiety and low mood usually got better over the year [3]. Mental health at 3 months strongly predicted mental health at 1 year. The authors suggested early information and advice might ease travel anxiety [3]. So you do not need to wait a year before asking for help.
What exposure therapy involves
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that looks at links between thoughts, feelings and actions. Exposure therapy is one form of CBT. With a trained clinician guiding the pace, you face feared reminders gradually and safely [4, 6]. Real world practice is planned together and done between sessions [6].
The APA’s 2025 guideline for adults with PTSD recommends cognitive processing therapy, prolonged exposure and trauma focused CBT, based on many strong studies [11]. It suggests eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), cognitive therapy and narrative exposure therapy as further options. It favors talk therapy over medicine [11]. Certain antidepressants are also suggested for some people. Choices about medicine belong with your prescriber [11].
What studies of crash survivors found
- In a U.S. trial, 78 crash survivors were randomly assigned to CBT, supportive therapy or a waiting list. All had PTSD lasting more than six months, or severe symptoms just short of a diagnosis. CBT eased PTSD more than either comparison. It also did more to reduce depression and general anxiety [12].
- In a German trial of 42 crash survivors with PTSD or severe PTSD symptoms, CBT did better than a waiting list [9]. In the CBT group, 67% had recovered by the end of treatment, and 76% had recovered three months later [9]. Each person built a ladder of weekly travel tasks. For very avoidant people, the first step could be sitting behind the wheel and starting the car. Later steps could reach driving near the crash site [9]. Partners were encouraged to join the practice [9].
- In a study of 184 adults treated for travel fear after a crash, people received trauma focused CBT or EMDR, averaging about seven hour long sessions [2]. Therapists rated 59% of passengers’ treatments a success and another 28% as good progress, similar to drivers [2]. There was no control group or random assignment, so these results are less certain [2].
In that last study, practice in real traffic was set as homework, because driving during sessions was discouraged for safety and insurance reasons [2]. In these studies, exposure followed a plan made with a clinician. None of them tested forcing yourself through the hardest possible ride on your own.
Virtual reality exposure
Virtual reality uses a driving simulator or headset to recreate feared road scenes in a clinic. In a German pilot study, 14 people whose driving fear began after a crash or another frightening traffic event had two preparation sessions and five virtual reality sessions [13]. All of them then managed driving tasks they had avoided, and 93% kept their gains at the second follow up call [13]. The study was small with no proper control group. The authors called for larger trials [13]. A review published in 2020 found that no randomized trials of driving fear treatment had been done at that point [14].
Comparison compiled by Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Everyday coping compared with clinical exposure therapy
| Feature | Everyday coping | Clinical exposure therapy |
|---|---|---|
| Main goal | Get through a ride with less distress | Reduce the fear itself over time |
| Who leads | You, with the driver’s help | A trained clinician, working with you |
| What it involves | Planning, signals, breathing, grounding | Planned, gradual practice with feared reminders |
| Pace | Set by how you feel that day | Set together, step by step |
| Research | Little direct study for travel fear | Tested in trials with crash survivors |
| Best fit | Mild or fading fear | Fear that lasts, spreads or limits your life |
Sources: NIMH [4]; APA [6]; Blanchard and colleagues [12]; Maercker and colleagues [9].
When to ask for an assessment
Fear after a crash often eases with time, but it does not always fade on its own [3]. Consider asking for an assessment if:
- Fear has lasted a month or more, or it is getting worse [4].
- You turn down rides to work, medical visits or family events.
- You have nightmares or flashbacks, or you feel on edge most days.
- Fear spreads to new places, such as walking near traffic.
- You rely on alcohol or other substances to get through a ride.
- Sleep, mood, work or relationships are slipping.
A primary care provider can screen you for mental health concerns and send you on to a mental health professional when needed [15]. The federal locator at FindTreatment.gov lists mental health services by area [15]. If you are ever in a life threatening situation, call 911 [15].
Questions to ask a therapist about fear in the car
Question checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
- Have you treated fear of riding or driving after a crash before?
- Will we use exposure, and how will we choose the steps?
- How will we keep practice on real roads safe for me and for the driver?
- Can the person who usually drives me join a session?
- Do you offer virtual reality or simulator practice, and would it suit me?
- How will we know if treatment is working, and what happens if it isn’t?
- About how many sessions or months will treatment take?
- Do you accept my insurance, and what will it cost?
- Could my other injuries, pain or a concussion change how we plan sessions?
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to be more scared as a passenger than as a driver?
It is common. In the Oxford study, 28% of passengers reported travel anxiety a year after the crash, compared with 12% of drivers [1]. Women who had been passengers reported it most often [1].
Should I avoid riding until the fear passes?
A short break can be understandable. Over the long term, avoiding reminders tends to keep fear strong, according to the APA [6]. Small, planned steps, ideally with a clinician, are how exposure based treatment rebuilds comfort [6].
Will telling the driver about my fear distract them?
Talking with people in the car is one form of distraction [8]. That is why a short talk before you leave, plus one agreed signal, works better than ongoing comments during the drive.
The bottom line
Recommendation from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Fear while someone else drives is one of the most common effects of a crash. It can show up even when your injuries were minor [1]. Planning with the driver, one safe signal and a few quiet coping skills can make rides easier without taking the driver’s attention off the road.
When fear lingers or narrows your life, trauma focused talk therapy with a trained clinician, often including planned exposure, has the strongest research support [9, 11]. Your primary care provider is a good first stop for an assessment and referral [15].
Sources and further reading
- 1Mayou R, Bryant B. Outcome in consecutive emergency department attenders following a road traffic accident. British Journal of Psychiatry. 2001;179(6):528-534. cambridge.org/…/core-reader
- 2de Jongh A, Holmshaw M, Carswell W, van Wijk A. Usefulness of a trauma-focused treatment approach for travel phobia. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy. 2011;18(2):124-137. core.ac.uk/download/357377894.pdf
- 3Mayou R, Bryant B, Duthie R. Psychiatric consequences of road traffic accidents. BMJ. 1993;307(6905):647. bmj.com/node/510435
- 4National Institute of Mental Health. Post-traumatic stress disorder. NIH Publication No. 23-MH-8124. Revised 2023. nimh.nih.gov/…/post-traumatic-stress-disor…
- 5Mayou RA, Bryant BM. Effects of road traffic accidents on travel. Injury. 1994;25(7):457-460. trid.trb.org/View/481360
- 6American Psychological Association. Prolonged exposure (PE). Clinical practice guideline for the treatment of PTSD. Updated April 2025. apa.org/…/prolonged-exposure
- 7American Psychological Association. Motor vehicle accidents are leading cause of posttraumatic stress disorder, according to new book. Press release. December 7, 2003. apa.org/…/accidents-ptsd
- 8National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Distracted driving. Accessed October 2026. nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/distracted-driving
- 9Maercker A, Zöllner T, Menning H, Rabe S, Karl A. Dresden PTSD treatment study: randomized controlled trial of motor vehicle accident survivors. BMC Psychiatry. 2006;6:29. rd.springer.com/…/1471-244X-6-29.pdf
- 10National Institute of Mental Health. Phobias and phobia-related disorders. Accessed October 2026. nimh.nih.gov/…/phobias-and-phobia-related-…
- 11Pappas S. PTSD and trauma: new APA guidelines highlight evidence-based treatments. Monitor on Psychology. 2025;56(5). apa.org/…/guidelines-treating-ptsd-tr…
- 12Blanchard EB, Hickling EJ, Devineni T, et al. A controlled evaluation of cognitive behavioral therapy for posttraumatic stress in motor vehicle accident survivors. Behaviour Research and Therapy. 2003;41(1):79-96. doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7967(0100131-0)
- 13Kaussner Y, Kuraszkiewicz AM, Schoch S, et al. Treating patients with driving phobia by virtual reality exposure therapy: a pilot study. PLoS ONE. 2020;15(1):e0226937. opus.bibliothek.uni-wuerzburg.de/…/Kaussner_PLoSONE_2020.pdf.p…
- 14Fischer C, Heider J, Schröder A, Taylor JE. “Help! I’m afraid of driving!” Review of driving fear and its treatment. Cognitive Therapy and Research. 2020 (issue 2). doi.org/10.1007/s10608-019-10054-7
- 15National Institute of Mental Health. Help for mental illnesses. Last reviewed April 2026. nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help
This article reflects the safety priorities of emotional recovery after road crashes and road safety education. It offers general education and is not medical or mental health advice for any one person. Treatments and services change, so check official sources and talk with your own care team or a qualified professional about what fits your situation. Reviewed October 2026.
Special thanks to our contributors
We appreciate the professionals, experts, and community members who share their knowledge and perspectives to help make this resource better. Your insights are always welcome and appreciated.
Have professional expertise, firsthand experience, or a perspective that could make this resource better?
We welcome your input. Your knowledge and experience can help us make this resource more useful, accurate, and meaningful to the people who rely on it.
Thank you. Your contribution is on its way.
We’re grateful you took the time to share your knowledge with us. Our team reviews every contribution with care. If it helps improve this resource, we’ll update the page and recognize you the way you chose.
Keep learning
Safe Driving Resource Center
Guides, self-checks and articles for drivers, parents of new drivers, and families recovering after a crash.
