Managing worry when your teenager starts driving
Ways to handle your own nerves while your teen builds safe driving skills
Imagine a father in the passenger seat while his 16 year old merges onto a busy road for the first time. His son is doing fine. Even so, the father’s heart is racing. His right foot keeps pressing a brake pedal that isn’t there.
If that sounds like you, you have a lot of company. Teens ages 16 to 19 have a higher crash risk than any other age group, so your worry has a real basis [1]. In a survey of 456 U.S. parents of new drivers, most parents of teens with a learner’s permit said they worried a lot about their teen’s safety [2].
This article covers where that worry comes from, what the numbers show, calm coaching, safe practice, family rules and state laws. No plan removes all risk, so the aim here is to help you put your energy where research suggests it does the most good.
Why worry shows up, and how it can help
NIMH, the National Institute of Mental Health, counts anxiety as a normal part of everyday living [3]. Teaching a teen to drive is a setting almost built for it. You sit beside a beginner in a heavy, fast machine. You have no steering wheel and no pedals.
Parents in a Michigan study reported feeling stress when they began supervising practice drives, and one comment called it nerve racking [4]. Another pointed to the early lack of control, with no way to reach the pedals to help [4]. If you have felt that, it is an ordinary reaction to an unusual job.
Worry and risk do not always line up
A study published in 2016 looked at an online survey of 456 parents and found a striking pattern [2]. Among parents of teens with a learner’s permit, 61% worried a lot [2]. Among parents of teens licensed within the past year, 36% did [2].
That timing is the reverse of the risk. During the permit stage, with a parent supervising, crash risk is very low compared with the risk once the teen starts to drive alone [2]. The survey was not nationally representative, so the exact figures may differ for other families [2]. Even so, it suggests that worry tends to fade just as your involvement matters more.
Worry can lead to good choices
Parents with a lot of worry were about three times as likely to have rules on all four topics in the survey [2]. Those topics were seat belts, drinking and driving, cell phones, and texting [2]. This is an association and does not prove cause, but it suggests concern can turn into action.
Your nerves can spread to your teen
Teens in the Michigan study recalled feeling stressed when they saw stress in their parents [4]. The Center for Injury Research and Prevention at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) makes a similar point in a tip sheet for families [5]. Stress and anxiety, it says, can get in the way of a teen’s learning and a parent’s supervision [5]. The same sheet says it is fine to pull over in a safe place to calm down [5].
When worry becomes more than worry
NIMH explains that an anxiety disorder goes beyond worry or fear that comes and goes [3]. With these conditions, anxiety does not go away, shows up in many situations, and can grow worse over time [3]. It can also interfere with daily life [3]. Maybe your fear keeps you from letting your teen practice at all. Maybe you were in a serious crash yourself or lost someone in one. In either case, a talk with your health care provider or a mental health professional may help.
What the numbers show
Numbers about teen crashes can feel frightening, but they also show where to focus.
Per mile driven, teens crash more than 4 times as often as drivers ages 20 and up, according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) [6]. IIHS and the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, known as the CDC, agree that crash risk is especially high in the first months after licensing [1, 6]. The Michigan researchers wrote that the risk of being hurt or killed in a crash reaches its lifetime peak when teens first drive on their own [4].
Night driving, passengers and seat belts
Night driving carries more risk for drivers of every age. The CDC calls it especially dangerous for teens [1]. In 2024, 18% of teen crash deaths happened from 9 p.m. to midnight, and 17% from midnight to 3 a.m. [7].
Passengers also make a difference. Having teen or young adult passengers raises the crash risk for teen drivers who are on their own [1]. In 2024, 58% of teens who died as passengers in passenger vehicles were riding with another teen at the wheel [7].
Seat belts count too. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reports that 51% of teen drivers who died in 2024 were not buckled up [8].
Progress over time
IIHS counted 2,899 deaths among teens ages 13 to 19 in 2024 [7]. That is about half the number in 1996, when teen crash deaths totaled 5,819 [6]. Each death is a loss to a family. The long decline is still a reason for hope.
Comparison compiled by Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Where new driver risk gathers and what families can do
| Situation | What research shows | A family step |
|---|---|---|
| First months of driving alone | Crash risk is especially high | Keep family limits in place after the road test |
| Night driving | About 35% of teen crash deaths in 2024 were from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. | Set a curfew hour and practice night driving together first |
| Teen passengers | Raise crash risk for teens driving alone | Start with no teen passengers or a low limit |
| Phones and other distractions | Especially dangerous for teens | Phone out of reach until the car is parked |
| Seat belts | 51% of teen drivers who died in 2024 were unbuckled | Every seat, every trip |
Coaching calmly from the passenger seat
The Michigan study tested a guide for parents with tips on communication and coaching [4]. It included 186 parent and teen pairs who were randomly assigned to the guide or to the usual state booklet [4]. In interviews, the advice that came up as most important was to stay calm and not yell when things got tense [4]. Even so, at a three month follow up, licensed teens in the two groups reported similar levels of risky driving [4].
The CHOP tip sheet offers similar advice. Keep the mood in the car cool, and avoid touchy subjects that have nothing to do with driving [5]. A practice drive is a poor time to bring up grades or curfew fights.
Small habits that keep things calm
- Before you start, agree on the route and one goal for the drive, such as smooth stops or left turns.
- Give directions early and in a few words. At the next light, turn left is easier to follow than a last second shout.
- Agree on a short phrase that means pull over when it’s safe, and either of you can use it.
- Point out what went well, and be specific. Nice job checking your mirror tells your teen what to repeat.
- Save longer feedback until the car is parked.
- If your own heart starts to pound, breathe out slowly and keep your voice low. You can ask your teen to pull over at the next safe spot so you can both reset [5].
After the drive
Once you are parked, ask your teen how the drive felt before you share your view. Then add one or two points and agree on a goal for next time.
Practicing harder situations, one step at a time
Your teen will someday drive at night, in rain and in heavy traffic. Meeting those conditions first with you in the car, a little at a time, is one way to prepare.
The Michigan guide was built on three practice principles [4]. Start in the simplest, safest conditions. Move slowly from easier to harder conditions. Practice the same skills again and again with focus [4].
What a randomized trial found
Researchers at CHOP tested a web program for parents called TeenDrivingPlan in a randomized trial of 217 parent and teen pairs in southeastern Pennsylvania [9]. It offered 53 short videos on creating a positive learning setting in the car, a practice planner and a log for tracking drives [10]. The trial results were published in JAMA Pediatrics in 2014 [9].
After 24 weeks, teens took a demanding road test before they got a license [9]. In the program group, 6% had the test stopped because of unsafe driving, compared with 15% in the comparison group [9]. Families using the program also reported more practice in different settings, at night and in bad weather [9]. The authors called these results preliminary [9]. A companion analysis found that both the amount and the variety of practice were linked with better driving, though the program changed only the variety [10].
The CHOP tip sheet suggests mixing drives aimed at one goal with ordinary everyday trips [5]. It adds that slowly raising the variety and challenge of practice helps teens learn to handle many situations [5].
A sample practice ladder
Teens move at different speeds. Your state may limit when permit holders can drive. One possible order:
- An empty parking lot in daylight.
- Quiet neighborhood streets.
- Busier roads with traffic lights and left turns.
- Highway merges when traffic is light.
- Familiar roads at dusk, then after dark.
- Light rain on roads your teen already knows well.
- Heavier traffic and new routes.
Skip storms, ice and other conditions that would worry an experienced driver. You can come back to a lower step whenever a drive feels too hard.
Before you add a harder condition
Checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
- My teen has handled the current step calmly on several drives.
- We both agree it is time to try the next step.
- The weather, light and traffic today are within what we planned.
- I am rested and calm enough to coach.
- We picked a route with safe places to pull over.
- We agreed on the phrase that means pull over when it’s safe.
Putting family rules in writing
Most parents already have driving rules. In the survey of 456 parents, 80% had rules on all four topics: seat belts, drinking and driving, cell phones and texting [2]. Only 9% of parents of licensed teens said they had ever used a written driving agreement [2].
The CDC’s Parents Are the Key campaign offers a parent and teen driving agreement that you can download from its website [11, 12]. The CDC says a written agreement sets clear expectations and limits [12]. It suggests working with your teen to list hazards to avoid and the consequences for breaking a rule [12]. Post it where everyone will see it, such as the fridge, and revise it as your teen gets more experience [12].
What the agreement covers
The CDC form has blanks your family fills in together [13]. Your teen agrees to:
- Carry no more than a set number of teen passengers unless a responsible adult is in the car.
- Stay off the road after a set hour for a set number of months.
- Avoid driving in bad weather for a set number of months.
- Never text or talk on the phone while driving, including hands free calls.
- Always wear a seat belt and make sure every passenger does too.
- Drive only when free of alcohol and drugs.
The form also lists consequences, such as no driving for a set number of weeks or months [13]. It ends with a promise from the parent to drive safely and be a good role model [13].
What studies of written agreements found
The Checkpoints program was developed by researchers at the federal child health institute that is part of the National Institutes of Health [14]. It uses persuasive messages and a written driving agreement to help parents set and keep limits [15, 16]. In a pilot trial with 231 parent and teen pairs in driver education classes, more parents in the program limited driving in heavy rain [15]. The program did not change limits on night driving [15].
A later trial enrolled 148 parent and teen pairs through eight driving instructors [16]. Families in the program used written agreements more often and were more likely to limit teen passengers [16]. Teens in the program reported less high risk driving [16]. There was no difference in crashes or traffic offenses at six months, so the trial could not show that agreements prevent crashes [16].
A NHTSA summary of the research says the original program brings modest increases in the limits parents set [14]. It also notes that a Connecticut study and a later evaluation found no differences in crashes for families who took part [14].
How state licensing rules fit in
Every state, plus the District of Columbia, has a graduated driver licensing (GDL) system with three stages [8]. These systems let new drivers build skills in lower risk conditions and add privileges, such as night driving or passengers, as they move through the stages [17]. The details of each stage vary from state to state [8].
The CDC cites a 2015 analysis of GDL laws [17]. It linked GDL systems with a 19% drop in injury crashes and a 21% drop in fatal crashes among 16 year olds [17]. NHTSA says GDL can lower a teen’s crash risk by up to 50% [8]. IIHS notes that state systems vary in strength [6]. Its current best practices for the middle stage include a night limit that starts at 8 p.m. and no teen passengers [6].
Rules differ from state to state
As of October 2026, the IIHS table listed these limits for the middle, or intermediate, stage [18]. Family members do not count toward the passenger limits unless the table says otherwise [18].
- Kansas limits night driving from 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. and allows no more than one passenger under 18.
- Alaska limits night driving from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. and allows no passengers under 21.
- Florida limits 16 year olds from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. and 17 year olds from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m., with no passenger limit.
Laws change. IIHS says its table should be checked against official sources [18]. Your state driver licensing agency has the current rules.
Your rules can go further
State law sets a minimum. IIHS points out that parents can set family rules based on the same ideas as a strong GDL law [6]. If your state allows passengers after six months, for example, you can choose to wait longer.
Letting independence grow
The goal of all this practice is a teen who drives safely without you. The CDC suggests updating your agreement as your teen gains experience [12], which turns it into a plan for adding freedom over time.
Deciding when to loosen a rule
Agree ahead of time on what will lead to the next step. Your family might look for a set number of weeks with no broken rules, several practice drives in that condition with you, and a clear plan from your teen. Change one rule at a time so you can see how it goes. If a rule gets broken, apply the consequence you already agreed on, and talk about it once everyone is calm.
Phones and check ins
NHTSA advises that texts and calls can wait until your teen reaches the destination [8]. The same goes for you, so avoid calling or texting when you know your teen is driving. A short “I’m here” text after parking can ease your mind.
Your own driving counts
NHTSA calls parents the number one influence on a teen driver’s safety [8]. New drivers most often learn by watching their parents, so your habits teach as much as your words [8]. Putting your phone away, buckling up and keeping to the speed limit all show your teen what you expect. NHTSA also urges parents to help teens get enough sleep before they drive [8].
When the first solo drives arrive
The first months of solo driving are when the risk is highest [1, 2]. It makes sense to feel uneasy then. Lean on the plan you made together. If your worry keeps growing, follows you through the day, or makes it hard to function, that is a reason to reach out to a health care provider [3].
Questions to talk through with your teen
Question checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
- What part of driving feels hardest for you right now?
- Which conditions do you want to practice next, and which ones can wait?
- What helps you most when I give feedback, and what makes it harder?
- How many friends should ride with you at first, and when should we look at that again?
- What time should you be off the road at night for the next few months?
- Where will your phone be while you drive, and how will you let me know you arrived?
- What should happen if one of our rules gets broken?
- What would you like to see from me as a driver?
- What would show us both that you are ready for the next step?
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to worry more than my teen does?
Yes. Some anxiety is part of normal life [3]. In a survey of 456 parents, 61% of parents of teens with a learner’s permit said they worried a lot [2].
When is my teen’s crash risk highest?
Crash risk is especially high in the first months after a teen gets a license [1, 6]. Parents in one survey worried more during the permit stage than after licensure [2].
Does a written driving agreement prevent crashes?
Studies have not shown that. In one trial, families who used the Checkpoints program wrote more agreements, limited passengers more often, and had teens who reported less high risk driving [16]. Crashes and offenses at six months were about the same in both groups [16]. A NHTSA summary of Checkpoints research also reports no crash differences [14].
Should my teen practice at night or in the rain before getting a license?
It may help, with care. In the TeenDrivingPlan trial, families practiced more at night and in bad weather. Fewer teens had their road test stopped for unsafe driving [9]. The authors called those results preliminary [9]. Start in easy conditions and move up slowly [4]. Check your state’s permit rules too [18].
The bottom line
Recommendation from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Worry about a new teen driver is normal. It often runs highest during the permit stage, before the riskiest months arrive [2]. Calm coaching, practice that slowly adds harder conditions, and written rules that loosen over time give that worry somewhere useful to go [4, 10, 12].
No rule removes every risk. Your steady support, your own driving habits and your state’s licensing rules can help lower it while your teen gains skill [6, 8].
Sources and further reading
- 1Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Risk factors for teen drivers. Updated August 4, 2025. cdc.gov/teen-drivers/risk-factors/index.html
- 2Jewett A, Shults RA, Bhat G. Parental perceptions of teen driving: restrictions, worry and influence. Journal of Safety Research. 2016;59:119-123. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5201134
- 3National Institute of Mental Health. Anxiety disorders. Last reviewed December 2024. nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders
- 4Buckley L, Shope JT, Zakrajsek JS, Goldstick JE. Design and implementation of a parent guide for coaching teen drivers. Journal of Safety Research. 2018;66:71-79. stacks.cdc.gov/…/cdc_98846_DS1.pdf
- 5Center for Injury Research and Prevention, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Learner permit tip sheet for parents supervising practice drives (PDF). 2018. injury.research.chop.edu/…/tdp_learner_permit_0.pdf
- 6Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Teenagers. Updated August 2026. iihs.org/research-areas/teenagers
- 7Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Fatality facts 2024: teenagers. Posted June 2026. iihs.org/…/teenagers
- 8National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Teen driving. Accessed October 2026. nhtsa.gov/road-safety/teen-driving
- 9Mirman JH, Curry AE, Winston FK, et al. Effect of the teen driving plan on the driving performance of teenagers before licensure: a randomized clinical trial. JAMA Pediatrics. 2014;168(8):764-771. doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2014.252
- 10Center for Injury Research and Prevention, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. To help keep teen drivers safe, focus on the learner period, new research finds. News release. June 23, 2014. newswise.com/…/to-help-keep-teen-drivers-s…
- 11Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Parents Are the Key. Updated August 4, 2025. cdc.gov/…/index.html
- 12Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Parent-teen driving agreement. Updated July 28, 2025. cdc.gov/…/driving-agreement.html
- 13Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Parents Are the Key parent-teen driving agreement (PDF form, 2 pages). Accessed October 2026. cdc.gov/…/PATK_2014_TeenParent_Agreem…
- 14National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Programs to assist parents/guardians of young drivers. Countermeasures That Work. Accessed October 2026. nhtsa.gov/…/programs-assist
- 15Zakrajsek JS, Shope JT, Ouimet MC, Wang J, Simons-Morton BG. Efficacy of a brief group parent-teen intervention in driver education to reduce teenage driver injury risk: a pilot study. Family and Community Health. 2009;32(2):175-188. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2747635
- 16Zakrajsek JS, Shope JT, Greenspan AI, Wang J, Bingham CR, Simons-Morton BG. Effectiveness of a brief parent-directed teen driver safety intervention (Checkpoints) delivered by driver education instructors. Journal of Adolescent Health. 2013;53(1):27-33. swov.nl/…/effectiveness-brief-parent-…
- 17Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. GDL planning guide. Updated July 28, 2025. cdc.gov/teen-drivers/gdl-guide/index.html
- 18Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Graduated driver licensing laws. Current as of October 2026. iihs.org/…/graduated-licensing-laws-ta…
This article reflects the safety priorities of teen driver safety and family road safety education. It offers general education and is not legal, medical or mental health advice. Licensing laws differ by state and change over time, so check your state driver licensing agency for current rules. If worry about your teen’s driving affects your daily life, talk with your own health care provider or a qualified professional. Reviewed October 2026.
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