Helping a child who is scared to ride in a car again
A child trauma psychologist's advice for frightened kids
After a crash, a child may refuse to get in the car. They may ask the same safety question again and again, have nightmares or act out the crash in play. These reactions can happen even when the physical injuries were minor. How dangerous the crash felt to your child counts for more than how adults size it up. Listen without pushing for every detail. [1, 2]
Explain what happened calmly and honestly
Pick words that suit your child’s age. You might say: “The crash was scary. We are safe now. Grown ups are taking care of the car.” [1, 2]
Don’t promise that crashes can never happen. Explain the plan for the next ride. Let your child ask questions. Stick to normal routines when you can, such as sleep and time with people your child trusts. [1, 2]
Take small, steady steps
Once travel is safe and doctors allow it, begin with a short, predictable step. Your child might sit in the parked car with an adult they trust. Next could come a short ride on a familiar route. Offer simple choices, like the music or which comfort item to bring. Notice the effort your child makes instead of demanding the fear vanish. [2]
If your child gets much more upset, stop and try a smaller step later. Never spring a ride on your child as a surprise test. [2]
When to get extra help
Fear can get in the way of school, sleep, medical visits or normal family life. If it does, talk with the pediatrician or a child mental health specialist. Reach out sooner if your child is in severe distress, feels unsafe everywhere or is getting worse. Either one can judge whether trauma focused treatment would help. [1, 2]
Questions to ask your child
- What part of riding in the car feels hardest?
- What would make the next short ride easier?
Plan one short ride
Map out one brief, predictable trip. Tell your child exactly what will happen. [2]
Sources and further reading
- 1American Academy of Pediatrics, posttraumatic stress in children
- 2National Child Traumatic Stress Network, understanding child traumatic stress
These ideas come from child trauma psychology and are meant for general education. Children react to a crash differently depending on their age and experience. Get professional help when distress is intense, lasts or disrupts daily life.
Keep learning
Safe Driving Resource Center
Guides, self-checks and articles for drivers, parents of new drivers, and families recovering after a crash.
