What to ask at your next appointment about memory problems
A prep sheet to describe memory changes, ask clear questions and keep the answers
Memory problems make medical visits hard in a frustrating way. You may forget the question you came in with. You may lose track of what the doctor said by the time you reach the car. Or you may freeze when someone asks how your memory has been. These are the same problems you came to talk about, so it makes sense to plan for them.
Even people without a brain injury forget much of what they hear in a medical visit, often 40 to 80 percent right away [1]. A brain injury can add to the problem. It can make it harder to recall which health concerns to bring up [2]. Guides written for people with brain injury suggest writing questions down first, writing down or recording the answers, and bringing someone along [2].
This article turns that advice into a prep sheet for any memory visit. You can use it with your primary care provider or a rehabilitation team. It also works with a neurologist (a doctor who treats the brain and nerves) or a neuropsychologist (a psychologist who measures thinking skills with tests). Inside you will find a way to describe your symptoms and a list of what to bring. There are also questions to ask, a table for the answers and steps for after the visit.
Start with what you want from this visit
Appointments go by fast. Before you write a single question, decide what you most want to leave with. Picking one main goal keeps the visit from getting used up by smaller worries.
Common goals for a memory visit include:
- Finding out why your memory has changed
- Learning whether it is getting better, staying the same or getting worse
- Getting a referral for testing or memory rehabilitation
- Getting help with one problem, such as missed appointments or trouble at work
- Getting a plain answer about driving, work or handling money
Write your goal at the top of your prep sheet in one sentence. If time runs short, raise this goal first. For example, you might write, “I want to know if I need memory testing, and who can help me at work.”
It also helps to know who you are seeing. A neuropsychologist usually evaluates changes in thinking, and the results help shape a treatment plan [4]. Occupational therapists, speech therapists and neuropsychologists often provide cognitive rehabilitation [4]. This is therapy that rebuilds thinking skills or teaches new ways around problems [4]. If you are not sure what that involves, read what happens in memory rehabilitation.
Describe your memory problems with real examples
“My memory is terrible” may be true, but it does not give your care team much to work with. A few short stories from daily life help far more. They show which kind of memory is struggling and how much it gets in your way.
After a brain injury, learning and keeping new information is often harder, while older memories stay mostly in place [3]. Many people also struggle to remember to do things later, such as keeping an appointment or taking a pill on time. Specialists call this prospective memory [3]. Other thinking problems can look like memory loss, such as trouble paying attention, slower thinking or trouble planning steps in order [4].
For each example, jot down:
- What happened, in one or two sentences
- When it started and how often it happens
- Whether it is getting better, worse or staying the same [7]
- What it cost you, such as a missed bill, a burned pan or a hard talk at work
- What you have tried, and whether it helped
Comparison compiled by Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Turn a vague complaint into a clear example
| Instead of saying | Try something like |
|---|---|
| “My memory is shot.” | “In the last two weeks I missed two appointments. They were on my calendar, but I forgot to look at it.” |
| “I can’t concentrate.” | “I read the same page three times and still can’t tell you what it said.” |
| “I forget what people tell me.” | “My partner tells me the plan at breakfast. By lunch I don’t remember the talk at all.” |
| “My brain feels slow.” | “When two people talk at once, I lose the thread and stop talking.” |
| “I’m forgetful at work.” | “I forget the middle steps of jobs I used to do without thinking.” |
| “Some days are worse.” | “It is much worse after a bad night’s sleep or a long, busy day.” |
Note what else could be playing a part
Other health problems can affect memory too. Some medicines, poor sleep, stress, low mood and alcohol can all affect memory [5]. Some causes, such as low vitamin B12 or an underactive thyroid, can be treated [5]. Your doctor is likely to ask about each of these, along with any falls, illness or big life changes [5].
Tiredness matters too. Fatigue is one of the most common problems after a brain injury, and it can dull attention, concentration and memory [6]. Write one line each about your sleep, mood, pain, alcohol use and energy. For more on these, see how medicines, alcohol, or cannabis can affect memory and how pain, anxiety, depression and PTSD affect memory.
Keep a short memory log
For one or two weeks before the visit, write one line each time your memory lets you down. Note the date, what happened and how tired you were. A family member can add what they notice. A brain injury factsheet suggests bringing a journal like this to rehab appointments [4]. If you want to keep tracking after the visit, how to tell whether your memory is improving has ideas.
What to bring
Pack the night before, so you are not hunting for papers on the way out. Keep everything in one folder or bag that lives by the door.
Checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Memory appointment checklist
- Your prep sheet with your goal, your examples and your top three questions
- A list of every medicine, including over the counter products, vitamins and supplements [8]
- Your one or two week memory log
- Reports from any earlier memory or thinking tests [9]
- Hospital papers from the crash, if this doctor has not seen them
- A list of your other doctors and how to reach them [2]
- Glasses, hearing aids and anything else you use to see, hear or write [9]
- Your insurance card and photo ID
- A notebook and pen, or a phone set up to take notes
- Your companion, if someone is coming with you
If you can choose the time, book the visit for the part of the day when you think most clearly. Advice for brain injury fatigue is to do the hardest mental work earlier in the day, when energy tends to be higher [6].
Bring a companion and give them a job
A trusted person can take notes and catch the parts you miss. In a review of studies on routine adult visits, about 38 percent included a companion, most often a spouse or adult child [10]. Companions gave emotional support, shared history, asked questions and helped remember instructions [10]. Your doctor may want to hear from someone who sees you every day, since they can describe changes you may miss [5].
Talk with your companion before the visit. Tell them your goal and whether you want a few minutes alone with the doctor [7]. Then agree on roles:
- Note taker: writes down what the doctor says, in the doctor’s words where possible
- Reminder: holds your question sheet and points out anything you skipped
- Backup: adds examples only when you ask, so you stay the one in charge
If no one can come, ask the office whether a family member can join by phone or video. You can also ask the doctor to pause while you write.
Capture the answers before you leave
People remember written information better than spoken advice alone [1]. They also recall specific instructions better than general ones [1]. Hearing the topics up front, such as diagnosis, tests and treatment, helps too [1].
So ask for what helps you:
- Ask for written instructions at every visit [8]. You might say, “Can you write that down for me?”
- Ask for a specific task. “Call the clinic on Monday to book testing” is easier to remember than “follow up soon.”
- Repeat the plan back in your own words before you leave, so the doctor can fix any mix ups [2].
- Ask if you can record the visit to listen again later. Brain injury and aging guides both say a recording can help, with the doctor’s permission [2, 7].
- Ask when it is safe to drive or go back to work, and ask for that answer in writing too [12].
Recordings and written summaries have been studied in people with cancer. In those trials, they improved recall in about half of the studies that checked, and none found a clear change in anxiety [11]. Many people also used them to fill in family or friends [11].
Comparison compiled by Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Your recommendations record
| What the care team recommended | Why | Who takes the next step | By when | Done |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Example: memory testing with a neuropsychologist | To measure memory and attention | The clinic sends the referral. I call if I hear nothing in 2 weeks. | Call by Nov 15 | ☐ |
| ☐ | ||||
| ☐ | ||||
| ☐ |
Fill in this table before you leave the building, or in the car with your companion. While the visit is fresh, you can still sort out who was supposed to call whom.
If you are going for neuropsychological testing
A neuropsychological evaluation is a set of tests that look at skills such as attention, memory, language, thinking speed, reasoning and planning [9]. A trained technician often gives the tests. The neuropsychologist then reads the results and writes a report on your strengths, weaknesses and next steps [9].
Testing often takes several hours, and the written report usually takes a couple of weeks [9]. To get ready:
- Sleep well the night before and eat breakfast [9].
- Take your usual medicines unless you were told not to [9].
- Bring glasses, hearing aids and copies of any earlier test results [9].
- Plan a quiet evening, because testing can wear you out [9].
Good questions for this kind of visit:
- “Will someone go over the results with me, and can my family member come?”
- “Which of my problems are memory, and which are attention or speed?”
- “What are my strengths, and how can I use them?”
- “Can I get a short written list of your recommendations?”
- “Should I be tested again later, and when?”
If your brain scans came back normal, testing may still show changes. Why a normal scan does not rule out memory problems covers what each test can show.
Extra questions for different kinds of visits
Your core questions are listed near the end of this article. Add two or three of these, depending on who you are seeing.
- Primary care: “Could any of my medicines, my sleep or my mood be part of this? Do I need blood tests to check for other causes? Who should I see next?” [5]
- Neurology: “What do you think is causing this? Do I need other tests? What signs should make me call you sooner?”
- Rehabilitation therapy: “What will we work on first? What should I practice at home? How will we know it is working?”
- Brain injury specialist: Some medicines for pain or breathing problems can make thinking harder after a brain injury [2]. So ask, “Could a new medicine from another doctor make my thinking worse?”
If driving is part of your life, ask about it at every kind of visit. Remembering a route is not the same as being ready to drive. Returning to driving after brain injury explains how readiness is checked.
After the visit: the same day and the weeks ahead
The same day
Sit down with your notes and your companion for ten minutes. Compare what each of you heard and finish your recommendations table. Put every new date in your calendar right away, including the day to call if a referral has not come through. File the papers in one folder. What records to keep after a brain injury can help you set that folder up.
The next few days
Check your patient portal, a secure website run by your clinic. Many portals show visit summaries, test results and messages [13]. If the instructions are unclear once you are home, call the office [8]. Do not stop a prescribed medicine without first asking your doctor or pharmacist [8]. Schedule any tests or specialist visits, and call for test results if you have not heard back [8]. Portals are for questions that can wait, so phone the office for anything urgent [13].
The weeks ahead
Keep your memory log going. After a concussion, contact your provider if symptoms last more than 2 to 3 weeks [12]. Also call if symptoms get worse when you return to your usual activities, or if you feel you are not improving [12]. Start your next prep sheet with what has changed since this visit. If you are unsure whether a change is new or part of an old pattern, see old memory problems or a new change.
Get help right away
Do not save these for your next appointment. A headache that gets worse and does not go away, weakness or numbness, repeated vomiting, slurred speech, a seizure, new confusion, trouble recognizing people or places, or extreme drowsiness all need an emergency department or a 911 call [14]. Print the concussion and TBI red flag checklist and post it on the fridge.
Questions to ask your care team
Question checklist from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
- What do you think is causing my memory problems, and what else could be adding to them?
- Could any of my medicines, my sleep or my mood be making my memory worse?
- Do I need testing, such as a neuropsychological evaluation, and what will it tell us?
- What treatment or memory rehabilitation do you recommend, and who provides it?
- What is the one thing I can do at home this month that is most likely to help?
- Is it safe for me to drive, work, cook or manage money right now?
- What changes mean I should call you, and what changes mean I should go to the emergency room?
- When should we check my memory again, and how will we know if it is getting better?
Frequently asked questions
How do I describe memory problems to a doctor?
Give two or three specific examples from daily life instead of a general statement. Say what happened, when it started, how often it happens and whether it is getting better or worse [7]. Add what each slip cost you, such as a missed payment or a mistake at work.
Should I bring someone with me to a memory appointment?
Yes, if you can. A companion can take notes, remind you of your questions and help you recall the plan later [7, 10]. Agree on roles ahead of time so you stay in charge of your own visit.
Can I record my doctor’s appointment?
Ask first, and respect the answer. Brain injury guides suggest recording with the doctor’s permission so you can listen again later [2]. If the answer is no, ask for a written summary of the plan instead.
What kind of doctor should I see for memory problems after a head injury?
Start with your primary care provider, who can look for other causes and refer you on [5]. Depending on your needs, the next step may be a neurologist, a rehabilitation physician or a neuropsychologist for testing [2, 4]. Finding memory rehabilitation covers where to look.
How long does neuropsychological testing take?
It often takes several hours, sometimes with breaks [9]. The written report usually takes about two weeks [9]. Ask whether someone will go over the results with you in person.
What if I forget what the doctor said?
Call the office and ask, or check your patient portal for a visit summary [13]. Next time, bring a companion or ask to record the visit. Fill in your recommendations table before you leave.
The bottom line
Recommendation from Safety Behind the Wheel Foundation
Go into your next memory appointment with one goal, three questions and a few real examples on a single page. Bring your medicine list and, if you can, a person to take notes. Before you leave, repeat the plan back, fill in your recommendations table and write the next dates in your calendar. Keep the table and your notes in one folder, and bring them to the next visit.
Related articles
Sources and further reading
- 1Kessels RPC. “Patients’ memory for medical information.” Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 2003. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/…/PMC539473
- 2Sander AM, Pappadis MR, Hammond FM, Driver S, Corrigan J. “Staying Healthy After TBI.” Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (MSKTC), 2022. msktc.org/…/staying-healthy-after-tbi
- 3Hart T, Sander A. “Memory and Traumatic Brain Injury.” Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (MSKTC), 2016. msktc.org/…/memory-and-traumatic-brain-i…
- 4Neumann D, Lequerica A. “Cognitive Problems After Traumatic Brain Injury.” Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (MSKTC), 2020. msktc.org/…/cognitive-problems-after-tra…
- 5Mayo Clinic Staff. “Memory loss: When to seek help.” Mayo Clinic, 2026. mayoclinic.org/…/art-20046326
- 6Bell KR. “Fatigue and Traumatic Brain Injury.” Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (MSKTC), 2024. msktc.org/…/fatigue-and-traumatic-brain-…
- 7National Institute on Aging. “Tips for Talking With Your Doctor.” National Institutes of Health, 2014. caregiver.org/…/talking_with_your_doctor_NIA…
- 8Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. “Be More Engaged in Your Healthcare: Tips for Patients.” AHRQ, 2024. ahrq.gov/…/questions-before-appointment…
- 9Cleveland Clinic. “Neuropsychological Testing and Assessment.” Cleveland Clinic, 2023. my.clevelandclinic.org/…/4893-neuropsychological-test…
- 10Wolff JL, Roter DL. “Family presence in routine medical visits: a meta-analytical review.” Social Science and Medicine, 2011. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/…/PMC3070824
- 11Pitkethly M, MacGillivray S, Ryan R. “Recordings or summaries of consultations for people with cancer.” Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 2022. cochrane.org/…/CD001539_audio-recordings-or…
- 12Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “What to Do After a Mild TBI or Concussion.” CDC, 2025. cdc.gov/…/response
- 13MedlinePlus. “Patient portals: an online tool for your health.” National Library of Medicine, 2024. medlineplus.gov/…/000880.htm
- 14Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Symptoms of Mild TBI and Concussion.” CDC, 2025. cdc.gov/…/index.html
This article reflects the safety priorities of neurology, neuropsychology and brain injury rehabilitation. It is general education, not medical advice. Check with your care team and official sources about your own situation. Reviewed October 2026.
Special thanks to our contributors
We appreciate the professionals, experts, and community members who share their knowledge and perspectives to help make this resource better. Your insights are always welcome and appreciated.
Have professional expertise, firsthand experience, or a perspective that could make this resource better?
We welcome your input. Your knowledge and experience can help us make this resource more useful, accurate, and meaningful to the people who rely on it.
Thank you. Your contribution is on its way.
We’re grateful you took the time to share your knowledge with us. Our team reviews every contribution with care. If it helps improve this resource, we’ll update the page and recognize you the way you chose.
Keep learning
Safe Driving Resource Center
Guides, self-checks and articles for drivers, parents of new drivers, and families recovering after a crash.
